Insanity
by Twisteria Lullubee
Summary: This is a stand alone-ish short story pulled from another fanfic I'm working on. Simply, Atem has been taken away from his friends and goes crazy. Clinging to the only person he think can save him. Warnings: Girl on guy Rape, torture, sex toys, pegging. AtemXOC Yugioh is not mine! But the story is. Super disturbing, meant for adult audiences only.
1. Did I mention I was insane?

I lay in this bed, knowing I am insane. Why, do you ask?

Well, it's really quite simple.

My hands are tied to the headboard, and I can feel the leather thongs on my wrists dig in as I move my hips for more contact. Yes, I know, the world, my dearest friends... suffer by the hand I buck into. I feel my salty cum drip onto the open wounds in my stomach. I scream from a mixture of pleasure from my release and pain from how it so ironically burns me, shames me. The ultimate pleasure...

I don't deserve dear friends. I deserve to suffer, to be beaten down and crawl in the dirt, maybe that's why I always surrender when you do this.

Your lips find mine as you kiss me brutally, these lips give the orders to slaughter thousands and as you tongue forces it's way into my mouth, not caring about my consent but only your pleasure, I can taste the venom dripping from it, the sickening taste of dried blood, ash and antifreeze you always seem to carry, poisoning me, corrupting me, infatuating me.

Did I mention I was insane?

Your nails rake down my chest deepening the wounds from earlier, just to make me scream. I always do, but your tongue muffles me. The sound only increases your hard -driven, sadistic lust for me anyway. You smirk wickedly as your venomous lips release my mouth and slide down to the vulnerable flesh of my neck and collar bone, tasting my caramel flesh while you complement my beauty. I am not beautiful.

I am ugly, inside and out, I stare down at my brown, Egyptian color with utter disdain, as you leave a necklace of hickeys around my neck with your sucking. I gasp every time your lips touch me, not exactly out of pleasure but rather the drastic temperature change. Your lips and body are always so cold, so inhuman; however, I-I am very human. My body is heated from what you've already done to me, sweat makes my body glisten- I am so disgusting... The only thing beautiful about me are the marks left by you, the symbols of my suffering, of my bondage... of your ownership. Marks that I deserve. Your ice cold kisses continue down my chest, fallowed by licks down my abdomen. I star at you through glass, amethyst orbs and I know what you are going to do to me. This is all routine, kisses down my body, hands groping me, I am used to it, I enjoy it. I am so disgusting... I was a pharaoh once, a god on earth, strong and confident, but now I am nothing more than a slave, and you are my pharaoh, my ruler and master, owner of all that you see. You've seen every part of me.

I stare at you, my vicious master, dominatrix and monster, into your eyes. They were pale blue like a lake frozen to the core, everything in it dead.. Your dead lips encircle me, my pharaoh and as you suck me to life with your venomous lips the third time tonight I can't help but wonder when everything went so wrong, perhaps if I had treated you fairly in your previous life you would treat me more favorably in this one... You stop the moment I reach the edge and I whimper, needy, as the warm air hits me again. It's you I whimper for, I need you, all of you, how sick is that? I need you, your love and company, your sadism and comfort, every part of your warped mind. But I want you with me even though you are evil, cruel, you raped me- your raping me now, you've murdered, imprisoned my loved ones... Jounuchi, Anzu, Honda, Ryo, Yuugi...Yuugi... and drove me insane. I hate you for what you've done, but I love you for who you are, cold, callous, casual and superior to me. You made me realize what I really am, a slave, who's destiny was simple, to belong to and serve the true pharaoh. I could have never won against you, I should have never tried. What's so wrong with being a slave? You have nothing to worry about, everything is done for you, including thinking. What I wouldn't give to not be able to think anymore...


	2. Justified

Your gaze sweeps over my shell of a body one more time, studying me closely even though you've seen it all before before you finally take me. You give a demonic smirk as you take me inside you and I moan, the coldest part of you around me, and the most callous. I doubt you can even feel me...

But it's obvious I can feel you as you thrust on top of me.. I didn't cry, I screamed, I sobbed, thick heavy tears I practically choked on them when I cried and screamed harder and you fucked me harder. My face was heated I released more sobs into the warm air contrasting your lips when you kissed me there. It doesn't hurt anymore than I can physically handle, but it tortures everything I 'm supposed to be... strong, confident, in control... I cried for forgiveness for what I done to you and the world, for liberation and safety, for everything I'd lost and the insanity I gained. I wept for everything.

Your smirk deepens as I cry for you and only you. I hate you, everything about you disgusts me, I hate you so much, but I love you for everything and this only contributes to my agony, your disgustingly beautiful smirk...

Your brazenly loving watching me as you fuck me through the mattress, riding the edge between dirty pleasure and unmistakable agony. Your a true psychopath you get pleasure from the way I react to it. Your practically seething from pleasure from my screams and begging echo off the stone walls, digging your nails into my ribs as your own form of release.

I loved it. I fucking loved it all. I played the part, a whore, a fucking little whore who moaned, writhed under your touch and cried out like an overly sensitive woman, it came naturally and I was fucking good at it. I arched my back, pushing myself deeper inside, my body betraying me when my mind was screaming no. But there was hardly anything left of my mind to fight it, it was once an impenetrable maze, guarded and secure. It was burning and I was lost in the fire, and I didn't have just you to blame either. You may have dowsed the whole place with gasoline but I lit the match, and we were both watching as it all burned to the ground. Maybe I clung to you because I thought you could save me, but why should you care about stopping the fire you helped to start in the first place?

I sobbed harder as you gritted your teeth above me, still seething. Kissing every bit of flesh you could find. I had nothing but you now. I knew I could never win, you weren't like Pegasus, Kaiba. Dartz or Bakura.. You were stronger than they were, better then they were, and worst of all- we climaxed together- you were justified. At that moment everything went black, there was no light anymore. You were all that was. Your the only one who still loves me, who still wants me, I need you... I love you.

You smile and move to rest beside me. My voice hurts from screaming as I lay there, a still sobbing, boneless, pathetic heap of goo on the bed. I was so hot, it felt like my skin was melting off, my head throbbed and I groaned in agony once the after shock of pleasure faded. My skin was coated in blood and sweat and orgasmic fluids which only added to the unbearable heat. If my skin didn't melt off soon I was going to peel it off myself. Suddenly you pull me into your arms and I give a shaky gasp as you mold my burning carcass against your ice cold flesh. I lean my head into your neck, still crying, but I accept you for everything you are, a monster, a sadist, a psychopath, my rapist, my pharaoh... my lover, my comforter, my protector... the only one in the world who is still able of loving me after seeing what I truly am..


	3. Love

You kiss me again, this time you were gentle, caressing my cheek gently with your thumb, wiping away my tears as you deepen the kiss.

"You're mine," you breathed the words against my lips. I used to hate those words, but now they were like a lifeline, telling me that you still wanted to keep me, to love me.. Without you I would truly be lost.

You released my wrists, and instead of my arms falling limply to my waist as you've come to expect they drift into a loose embrace around your waist, my fingers intertwining because I didn't have the strength to actually hold you. Seeming to sense the purpose of this you crush my body closer to yours than clothes could ever allow. You are not raping me though- can I really call it rape when I need it so badly to feel loved? I shiver against you as your chill envelopes me and I wonder if you could even feel how hot I was through it. The answer is most likely no, because I am human, and you are not. I wonder why I think of you like that sometimes. In reality you are just as human as I am... Maybe it's the concept of a female rapist that confuses me... Or maybe it's simply that if I thought of you as human, then I would have to hold you to the same standards I hold others. Whereas seeing you like this I can justify everything you do with ease.

You are original, one of a kind, but I am one of many. My story has been repeated over and over again whilst yours was erased. I am ugly by nature, my caramel colored skin loathed by the modern world, my spiky tri-colored hair is ridiculous and fake looking, I am small, especially compared to you, the tallest woman I have ever met. Your grip on me loosens, which I don't mind because I felt that if you were close to freezing me. You frown this time when you look at me, causing my heart to pound. For a moment I thought you finally saw me the way I saw myself, so I was relieved when you started screaming at me. The sadism in your eyes replaced my a sort of motherly concern, you scream that if I didn't fight you I wouldn't suffer a single wound. You scream at me for making you hurt me. I know my wounds are my fault, but I'm a masochist, my pride is stubborn and even though I enjoy it I always fight you, I beg for the pain. You planted a chaste kiss on my lips after I apologize to you and pick me up like a baby. You carried me into the bathroom, rocking me back in forth. When you're ordering an execution you hardly seem like a cuddler, but your actually quite affectionate when I'm being good. You whisper saccharine words into my ear as you stoke my hair, able to support my frail body with one of your arms. You set me gently in the bathtub and I clung to you, not wanting to lose contact for fear I would lose you forever. The moment you realize the motivation behind my behavior you give gentle, sadistic smile, whispering to me loving and possessive words that used to turn my stomach.

"I'll never leave you, not really. I'm not like your so-called friends, I'll never hate or pity you. I'll always be with you, my touches will never leave. I will never forget you or allow you to forget me. Your mine and mine alone, even if you beg cry and plead, I'm never going to leave you, you'll never be alone again." you gave a small laugh at the end of it, it's probably from the pleasure you get from the ability to say that truthfully.

A small smile come to my lips as I let you go, your words comforting me as sick as they are, you smirk back and kiss me. This one was a bit more aggressive than the last and tears run down my cheeks. They are of joy, of relief, the kiss is dominating and possessive, reinforcing your words. I needed to be kissed like this. I kiss you back gently, my lips fallowing yours in the submissive dance I know you enjoy. These small moments of joy and comfort make being raped repetitively more than worth it.

As you kiss me one of your hands wonders to the tap, and you turn the water on, it came out boiling hot and directly on my bare skin. I scream into the kiss and you chuckle against my lips, keeping me pinned but turning the cold water up until you feel me relax. The bath water was still hot but comfortable. You broke the kiss gently. I know you hurt me for my own good, to leave marks on me that show me my place and tell me you will never leave me. Unlike my friends, you will be with me even if your life ens before mine. You see, joy is easily forgotten, but pain is not. I could never forget you, your kisses will linger in my skin forever. Not to mention the marks you have left in my psyche.

"Soon," you always tell me, "you won't even remember you had anyone but me." and you are right, yours is the only face that shows clearly in my mind. I don't even remember what Yuugi looked like clearly anymore. But I don't mind, because I don't want to remember, memories of them only bring me shame..

You grab a sponge from the side of the tub and cover it in baby soap. You always treat me like a baby when I'm sick or injured, even if you did inflict the wounds. I love it. You pat my skin gently with the sponge, even gentler on my wounded flesh. It's only moments before the water is red with brown clumps of dried blood in it, you dab my crotch tenderly, cleaning the most abused parts of my body with extra care, I moan. When that's finished you let the water drain and repeat the process. Starting at my forehead you dabbed down my body, my face, chest, arms, hands and fingers, stomach, crotch, rubbing small circles into my butt cheeks, thighs calves, and all the way down to my toes. You wiped me off and managed to make me feel dirtier then when I started out... but I deserve to feel like this. You dry me off with a fluffy white towel, bandage my wounds and kissing each of them gently and I seethe as they sting all the same. What you chose to dress me in was insult to injury, it truly showed how sick your mind was. You dressed me in...


	4. Simple tortures

**I'd like to start by thanking all who have left their comments (okay there's only two of you) but I appreciate it all the same. I'm replying to your comments like this because my internet hates me.**

**Yunastevens, Yami/Atem would never be able to onto himself in the absence of his friends. And I worked really hard on it. I originally wrote it from a third-person POV but you didn't really get a full understanding of what Kairi (OC) represented to him.**

**hizeezetoyou, Atem has always been reliant on someone else. Yuugi, his court in ancient Egypt so it stands to reason that if he were ripped away from them he would latch onto someone else. And since she's all he's got it doesn't matter if she's abusive.**

You dressed me in... the clothes I would wear when I was free, when I was with Yuugi. It was just a simple cotton-blend muscle shirt and leather pants, who would have thought that wearing this would have hurt me so much. The fabric burns my very essence with regret and shame, you say it makes me look sexy, so I suppose it's not my place to complain...

You sat down on the couch with me still in your lap, petting my hair and telling how beautiful I look in these clothes because they damage me so much.

"I love you in anything, you really are gorgeous, but I love you in this the most." you said.

I was watching without expression as your hand moved up and down my thigh, teasing cruelly but never really touching anything important, I looked up, "Why?"

Your embrace around me tightened, "Well, it doesn't leave a lot to the imagination, for one."

I quirked an interested eyebrow, "And for two?"

"Don't get demanding with me, Atem." you gave my thigh a hard squeeze, "Do I really have to go over your place again? Are you really that retarded?"

I let my head fall against your chest, submitting to your embrace completely as a hope of redeeming myself, "I'm sorry, pharaoh, I'll try harder. Th-that won't happen again."

You ran the back of your hand across my cheek, applying just a little pressure, "You should hope not, next time, I won't ask."

"I'm sorry," I'd said those words so many times in the past few months, they were pointless, foolish words, same as "I hate you" I never really meant either, only using them as a way of lifting myself higher. Your the only person in the world with the power to make me really sorry.

"We'll see," you lift me up, "Atem, are you loyal to me one-hundred percent?"

"O-of course."

"Then why do you always hesitate?"

I wasn't stuttering because I was unsure about my words, I was stuttering because I was scared shit less.

I struggled to steady my voice, "I am loyal to you."

You laid me down on your bed, putting my wrists in shackles and looping them over the headboard. You leaned your face down to meet mine, pressing our foreheads together, I shook. I was going to be punished, I knew it. You were going to rape me again. But instead of your tongue words left your lips.

"Do you really want to know why I like you in this the most?" your voice was soft, but from this angle and with the darkness around you from the canopy you looked even more perversive then usual, no matter how soft your smile was.

Was there any right answer to this? I nodded.

"This is what you wore when you were alone, do you remember that?"

I nodded again.

"We were so distant back then... You didn't even know who I was, or who you were for that matter, but I never gave up on you," your words were very obsessive, even more so then I'd become used to, "It was worth all the pain you put me through in Egypt just to stay close to you, just as it was worth all the time I invested into you to have you in my arms. These clothes," your hands drifted under the hem of my shirt, half stroking the fabric, half stroking my chest, "they make you so uncomfortable now, don't they?"

No right answer, so I gave the truth, "Yes."

"And that's why I love you in them. Yo used to be this person," your hands glided over me, "but now you hate having this on you, it shows how much you've changed. How much I've done to you, how much I've helped you to realize that you were never this person in the first place." you thrust your hands under my shirt and I gasped from surprise and how cold they were, "Do you think you understand now?" your thumbs brushed against my nipples.

I shivered, I was going to be punished, you were going to show me your love, I was going to be raped, "I understand."


	5. Broken

"Are you truly loyal to me?" you asked.

Please stop making me answer this, "Yes."

"Even if you could have Anzu or Yuugi, you'd choose me?"

"Yes, I don't want anything to do with them, being with them now would kill me."

"So are you loyal to me because you want to be or because you haven't found anyone else?" your voice was getting harsher and more insistent, demanding an answer.

"I don't know what you mean!"

"Do you fucking want me or them!" you shook me violently.

"Wh-what?" I stammered out.

"Do you want me? Answer me!" you yelled.

"I... I can't..." I said, my voice was timid and small.

"Wrong answer!" you ripped open my shirt with one hard pull, "I don't give a fuck what you want, your mine. Tell me now!" you ordered. You grabbed my crotch. I moaned.

"Please, I-I can't!" I screamed.

You gave me one of the hardest smacks I'd ever received.

"I will destroy you inside and out if you don't answer me right** now**!" you yelled.

"Please, Kairi, I can't answer!" I yelled.

You stopped suddenly. Glaring down at me, it took me a moment to realize why. My eyes widened, I had called you by your name. I had spoken to as I would a subordinate. That wasn't going to be forgiven.

You jerked down my pants and boxers without a hint of mercy in your eyes. You shoved two of your fingers in a place of my body fingers should never go.

"A-A-Ah! It hurts!" I yelled.

"Like you aren't used to it, you fucking little slut. It's not like this is virgin!" your words were so sick, they rattled my brain.

You wanted to see me cry, to to hear my screams echo off the walls again. He wanted to take over my body. You leaned in next to my ear.

"Do you want me to fuck you?"

All that came from my lips was screams. It was the wrong answer. But really, I think that it was the answer you wanted at that point.

"Pu-Pull out! Please!" I yelled.

You did as I begged. But as soon as your fingers left me, a harder piece of demented machinery replaced them. I should have let you prepare me. I screamed louder than before.

"My pharaoh!" I screamed.

You grabbed my hair.

"Do you like it?" you asked. You watched as tears streamed down my face. You smiled.

"N-No!" I screamed, it was the wrong answer, but I'm a masochist.

"Why should I? I'm enjoying this. Stop tensing up and you'll be enjoying it too." you said.

"My pharaoh! Please! I can't! This hurts! YOU'RE A MONSTER!" I yelled, stepping far past my boundaries. It all only made you that much more determined.

"And you're just a little whore!" you seethed.

"You… STOP!" I screamed at a particularly hard thrust.

"Stop saying those negative words! They aren't yours for using anymore! It's not your place to tell me to stop!" you threw my head on the mattress. I whimpered. "Let's fucking try that again, are you enjoying this!"

I knew I was weak for giving in, but I was your slave, "Yes!"

Another sharp push, but this was against my sweet spot, I screamed and moaned.

"Louder!"

"I LIKE THIS!"

"And how do you feel about me?" you said that softly, pressing against my prostate again. I moaned.

"I'm loyal to you."

"Is that it?"

Another push against my prostate, the blood was finally serving as lubricant so all that registered was the sinful pleasure. I sobbed, "I love you." I admitted.

"Just because you can't have anyone better?" you yelled. Another sharp push.

"No, I would do anything for you!"

"Then why do you always tell me to stop?" this question didn't seem as sadistic as the others.

"Because I'm still learning and adjusting! I'm not perfect like you! I screw up, please forgive me..."

"How many times have I forgiven you, Atem? A hundred, a thousand, and what have you ever done to earn it?"

You pulled the horrible thing out of me and I lay there sobbing.

"You have done nothing for me, you always say no and you only obey as much as you have to. And you claim you love me. If this is true, show me. Beg me to take you."

I looked at you desperately for you had never given a crueler order. You want me to beg for it? The thing I have nightmares about? The very thing I fear the most? Surrendering to you is easy, I just let it happen, and sometimes I even have trouble with that. Could I truly surrender everything and beg you to take me?

You seemed to sense my scared reaction and went with a gentler approach, stroking my cheek with your knuckles, "I've done everything for you, I've been gentle and good to you and all I'm asking is that you do this little thing for me."

I'm not sure if it's considered cheating, in your sick game, but your hand cups me, I arch into your touch instinctively and you draw away, I sob. But then again there is no cheating in this game, not for you at least, because you write the rules. I look down at my own member, disgustingly erect despite it's torture. I can feel myself throbbing so hard it's hurts since you left me at the edge... and with my hands bound I do not have the means of which to relieve myself.

I look back up at you, awaiting my correspondence to your command. I closed my eyes, took a deep shaky, scared -I was always scared of this, I was always scared period, but I was comfortable with this than the thought of losing the only one I have left.

I parted my lips and let my last bit of foolish pride drip out with my words, "Pharaoh, please, -touch me, t-take me. I-I want you to. Please, please, my pharaoh! I'll do whatever you want! Take me! Just take me already! Please just love-"

I'm silenced by your lips roughly mashing into mine, hard enough so that they grated against my teeth and the coppery taste of my blood filled both of our mouths. Disgusting me, turning you on. I hated and feared you, but I loved you also. Part of me had always fought, the small pointless part of me that sounded a lot like Yuugi, and I knew by surrendering this way I was severing the last of my ties with him and many others, and that you would be rougher than ever with me now that you had my permission. But I couldn't bring myself to care, I couldn't bring myself to think..

I thought I was broken before... It's funny, you never really know how far you can bend until your truly shattered. The world around me was dulled and blurred, the only color that registered was the red of blood and your own pale blue eyes, everything else was in gray. I could hear nothing also, as my mind sunk deeper and deeper inside itself, inside the void.

You smirked above me, you lips moved but I heard nothing, you touched my face, but I couldn't feel it. You strapped on a dildo and positioned yourself between my legs, I couldn't move them anymore. Though I could not control them you had no problem posing them yourself. You spread them out and bent them at the knee, wrapping them around your waist. You looked down at me, your mouth opened and even though I heard nothing I could still tell what was being said.

"You're beautiful."

I offered no reaction, just staring blankly at nothing in particular. You gave me one last tender smile and wrapped you hand around my member. You lips moved, this was the last thing I ever heard.

"I love you too, my beautiful Atem."

You rocked in, I could feel my face contort into a scream, but I couldn't feel the pain that caused it nor the sound it created.

You smile above me, you face contorted in gray with sadistic pleasure.

Memories shot over my eyes, I saw myself on the couch with Yuugi, defeating Mariku for the last time, I saw all my victories, all the sweet little moments with my loved ones I had taken for granted not so long ago.

I saw my court in ancient Egypt, priests bowing before me. A young guard with frozen blue eyes pass me in the hallway that I always took for granted.

I always took all I had for granted, even the defense mechanism of insanity I took for granted and look where it got me. I was ripped away from the people I loved the most, the person who had vowed to protect me was above me slipping in me again and again. This is what I had to show for my life, and I got to live it twice. My heart had been weighed against a feather, and now, it was yours to tear out and eat.

I could feel my own back arching, trying to ease the pain that coursed inside me no doubt, or out of pleasure... what was the difference? Faintly, I saw the blood that pooled between my legs, the dried mixing with fresh from where I've been torn. No doubt all be limping tomorrow... if there is a tomorrow. You hand wraps around me tighter and I can feel the warmth pool in my stomach, I didn't bother trying to hold back. There was no point, there was no point to anything. To freedom or sanity, to health and home, the world was pointless. I felt myself scream and saw myself release on your hands and my stomach, I closed my eyes. You pulled out and threw my legs together again just to make me yelp. You kissed my face, I felt it only just, I opened my eyes and saw the eye of Horus on the millennium puzzle on your neck glowing, undoubtedly the source of this strange reality of gray, but I didn't care. The puzzle wasn't mine to worry about anymore.

I could move my legs again, but it hurt too much to try, you pulled me in your arms, telling me that come tomorrow I wouldn't remember I ever was pharaoh, that I ever had friends, I realized this when I let go my pride. But I didn't care, I had you. The one I would never forget.

I fell into a hard sleep that night, in your arms, knowing I would forget everything the fallowing morn.

But knowing that I would never forget you for making me insane, and loving you for it.

END


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